I get asked, "Are you okay?" by quite a few people everyday. It may be due to the crazy t-shirts I wear, or it could be due to the fact that I am constantly on the hunt for delicious unicorn brains. I eat people brains too, but unicorn brains are second only to Cyclops eye in terms of a delicate finish on the palate. Simply delicious fare for a discriminating psychopath.
Quit screaming, you silly goose. I don't eat normal brains. I only eat special brains. I've learned as much as I can from eating smart brains, so it takes quite a bit to make me want to bother with a normal person's brain. Once you eat Einstein's brain, all the others taste pretty bland.
I stay up way too late at night on my typical unicorn-hunt evenings. When I get up in the morning, I really feel like I'm a real zombie and not just pretending to be one. My joints are stiff, my eyes are swimming, and my pulse is way too low. If I didn't score a good unicorn brain, or at least a horn, the night before then I'm not worth very much the next day. I hate doing it, but a human brain comes in handy when I feel that bad.
My unicorn brain-hunt would go much smoother if I could just get them away from those idiot werewolves they've been hanging around with. I am paranoid those flea-bags are going to infect me with their wolf-disease, so I can't get too close. There's nothing more disheartening than seeing a werewolf ride around a unicorn all night. How am I supposed to get my unicorn brains like that?
Being insane is fun. You don't have to worry about what other people think because they're usually thinking that you're crazy...which is okay, since you are. Crazy t-shirts are pretty good at advertising your insanity. When you put on a crazy t-shirt you're telling the world, "Hey, I'm a crazy person who may eat your brains so that his unicorn hunt goes smoothly as long as the werewolf bodyguards are drunk enough off wood beers not to smell you. Also, I may be a zombie."
Quit screaming, you silly goose. I don't eat normal brains. I only eat special brains. I've learned as much as I can from eating smart brains, so it takes quite a bit to make me want to bother with a normal person's brain. Once you eat Einstein's brain, all the others taste pretty bland.
I stay up way too late at night on my typical unicorn-hunt evenings. When I get up in the morning, I really feel like I'm a real zombie and not just pretending to be one. My joints are stiff, my eyes are swimming, and my pulse is way too low. If I didn't score a good unicorn brain, or at least a horn, the night before then I'm not worth very much the next day. I hate doing it, but a human brain comes in handy when I feel that bad.
My unicorn brain-hunt would go much smoother if I could just get them away from those idiot werewolves they've been hanging around with. I am paranoid those flea-bags are going to infect me with their wolf-disease, so I can't get too close. There's nothing more disheartening than seeing a werewolf ride around a unicorn all night. How am I supposed to get my unicorn brains like that?
Being insane is fun. You don't have to worry about what other people think because they're usually thinking that you're crazy...which is okay, since you are. Crazy t-shirts are pretty good at advertising your insanity. When you put on a crazy t-shirt you're telling the world, "Hey, I'm a crazy person who may eat your brains so that his unicorn hunt goes smoothly as long as the werewolf bodyguards are drunk enough off wood beers not to smell you. Also, I may be a zombie."
About the Author:
There is a great site about crazy t-shirts which can be found at crazy t-shirt where you can see how it's done right.
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